Sunday, September 15, 2013

Resurfacing

There's no saying it politely. Moving sucks! Especially if you haven't moved in eighteen years. Even if it is to a bigger and nicer house. And let me tell you, moving is not conducive to blogging about your BDSM relationship. As a matter of fact, Master/sub relations are put to the test during something as stressful as moving.

I was surprised at how hard it was to maintain our Master/sub dynamic during the move. We kept trying, but it was pretty much a bust. Master was too stressed to do all the things Masters do, in the period leading up to closing and moving. I was too tired and out of sorts to be receptive to orders and demands. My non-submissive self definitely came out of the hiding place where I had banished it 5 months ago when I opted for submission. I found myself being demanding, argumentative, bitchy, and selfish. I did recognize it and even tried to regain my submission, but it was pretty much a failure as I often reverted to pre-submission behaviors.

I think it's fair to say that a Master/sub relationship works best when Masters can be masterful and subs can be submissive. Well that seems pretty obvious, right? However, it's very difficult when one can't fulfill their role and it's nearly impossible if both aren't up to it.  Masters provide direction and stability with a firm hand, but with patience and caring. Subs feel loved, safe, and adored when this happens which leads them to serve, obey and submit which in turn causes Masters to feel appreciated and in control. It works in an endless loop with both parties getting what they need. If one side gets off track, the whole thing wobbles. If both sides get off, it's a train wreck.  That's exactly what happened to us. I have to say it hasn't been the greatest month.

I am happy to say however, that we are getting back on track. Master is taking the upper hand again and I'm happily sliding back into my submissive role and I'm hopeful that we can regain the lost ground and find even more contentment as we continue our on our Master/sub journey.

So that's where I've been for the last month or so, but things are finally getting back to normal. The new house is great and it's even starting to feel like home now – a little anyway.

Blogging is one of the things Master requires of me, so stay tuned for more frequent updates from me going forward.

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