Monday, April 29, 2013

Musings of a New Sub

My Master asked me to answer the following three questions after I did some study of BDSM:

What key things have you learned or reinforced about yourself or our relationship from your study?

 I think I have always had a tendency towards submission.  I've fantasized about being forced to submit even as a young girl.  I've long enjoyed being tied up.  I've fought against being submissive because I saw it as weak.  I'm educated and modern; didn't want to be a doormat to a man.  

Something surprising I discovered is I thought I was pretty even going and not strong opinioned.  Now I realize as I've tried to be submissive is that I do try to control things more than I thought.

I've always felt we were complimentary to one another.  This look at BDSM is just another example of how we are yin and Yang.  

I've also learnedly that we may not be all that weird.

The sex has been amazing and I'm looking forward to where this goes next.  I can't believe how much my attitudes have changed.

 What does being in a submissive relationship mean to you?

I've thought a lot about this; especially in the context of a Christian marriage.  I think it is actually very compatible.  The concept of looking to meet your needs - even anticipate them is very conducive to happy marriage.  

I'm still thinking about the serving with joy and not feeling put upon or acting the martyr.  I think I want to serve out of love, but will have to work at it.  It wont come easy.

I'm definitely into submitting to you sexually.  That's a huge turn on.

I'm not sure the role discipline and punishment play.  In the reading at least, it plays an important role.  If I am to learn behaviors I don't ordinarily do, I may need the discipline.  I also think there has to be consequences for not doing what you think is best - where I've agreed to give you that power.

 What do you hope to gain, achieve, benefit from this relationship

 Hot, hot, hot sex! I also think if you were interested in shaping me, I could become a lot more than I am today.  I don't have a lot of self-discipline, but I would do the right things for you.

I also think our marriage can take on new depth of caring, intimacy,  and excitement as we explore BDSM.  We have shared and talked and truly spent time together.  I'd love to continue this way.  I've been happier than I've been in a long time.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please play nice. All comments are moderated so expect delays until I am untied and can review them.