Saturday, April 27, 2013

BDSM within a Christian Marriage

There are about as many aspects to this topic as there are stars in the sky.  In the 21st century it is uncool and in many cases it is cause for out and out war of words for a woman to consider submitting to her husband.  Christians who embrace this are considered right-wing kooks.

In the past two weeks as I've contemplated this topic,  I've arrived at an unexpected place.  My husband and I decided early in our marriage that we were equal partners, but if it came down to a point where we couldn't agree, he would have the 51% vote.  I am well educated, have a professional career, and am independent minded, but I could see the reasonableness of someone having a majority share when push came to shove.

I've always believed that God set up roles for men and women and fulfilling these roles provides peace and contentment.  I know that some people are not wired completely to these traditional roles or in some cases not at all.  I think they can also find fulfillment, but the struggle is much greater.  We all have things that come easier and things that come harder.

In my relationship, Peter takes his role as provider and protector of our family very seriously.  Most of the things he has asked of me relate to security (keep your cell phone charged, keep gas in the cars, don't spend too much money, etc).  Trying to keep me out of harms way is his gift to me.  Unfortunately, too often, I look at these things as nagging, being too controlling, bossing me around. 

As I've looked more at submitting to Peter as my Master, I've recognized the gift and how I've basically rebuffed his gift by not doing the things in asked and worse yet I've rolled my eyes or been annoyed with the requests.  Not exactly good gift receiving behavior.  Now I'm asking myself, would it be so hard to do the things he asks.  It gives him peace of mind to know I am safe and I feel loved and cared for and yes, safe.

Marriage should be about working together, finding complementary aspects of your relationship, and considering each others needs out of love.  It's not about competition, tension, and selfishness.

So, I find myself submitting to Peter and being happier than I have ever been.  What a revelation.

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