Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Exposed

Master believes I have an exhibitionist bent and he is probably right.  I’ve read where people get off on exhibitionism because the risk of getting caught is a thrill and adds to the thrill.  For me, the risk of getting caught actually negatively impacts my turn-on.  I become completely focused on what’s going on around me and I can’t think of anything let alone being aroused.  However, I do like the thrill of doing something naughty in a calculated and safe situation.  From my blog last summer, you may recall Master commanded me to strip on the beach for an after-dark stroll.   I enjoyed that and was certainly titillated by the experience up until a truck came out onto the beach and I had to struggle to retrieve my dress from Master and get it back on before an embarrassing situation occurred.

This year, at the beach, Master upped the ante.  We stayed at a beach house with a balcony off the Master bedroom.  The back of the house was closer to the beach than the surrounding houses such that you could be on the balcony and not be seen by anyone unless they were on the beach.  Master has been threatening to tie me up outside in an exposed manner to quite some time.  Every house we stay in, he comments on the balcony if there is one.  He sends me tons of pictures of subs in compromising bondage locations.  On this trip, he made good on his threat.  Master had me strip and then he tied me to a chair on that balcony – wrists to the arms of the chair and ankles to the chair legs.  It was pretty breezy and cold, so ever thoughtful, Master put a blanket around my back and shoulders to block the wind.  Aside from being cold (at least until the real fun began), I certainly felt naughty.

Once I was secure, Master got the camera out to immortalize the moment – no I won’t be posting any of the shots, especially the ones with my pussy fully bared for the camera.  Incidently, I’d never seen a picture of myself quite that way before.  With the pre-scene activities out of the way, Master brought out two of my favorite toys – my new wand and a thick dildo.  While I started to squirm in anticipation about where this scene was going, Master painfully (exquisitely so) twisted my nipples and fondled by very exposed and accessible pussy.  By this point, I no longer minded the sub-60 degree temperature. 

At some point in the past, I shared with Master, that my very best muscle-wrenching, mind-blowing orgasms happen with a combination of clitoral and vaginal stimulation.  If one way or the other is good, both together must be better, right?  Since then, Master uses that technique fairly often (I know, lucky girl, am I).  That is exactly what he did this time with me tied to a chair on the exposed balcony of our beach house.  The orgasm built and built and then went on and on forever.  When it was finally over, I couldn’t even walk.  Master untied me, rubbed my ankles and wrists and then half carried me to bed where he promptly got naked himself, climbed into bed and held me while I wept from the sheer joy, physical exertion, and mental release of the experience. 

I know most, if not all, of my girlfriends and family would not understand any of this and maybe some of you reading this blog won’t get it either, but the type of relationship I have with my husband who is also my Master is very satisfying.  It completes me plus I get to have knock your socks off orgasms.  I don’t think a sub could get any luckier.

Monday, December 2, 2013

My Master's First Wife

My husband (and Master) has had two wives. What? Those of you who have been reading my blog are probably shocked at this revelation. I know when he started talking about me as his second wife, I thought he was joking. Peter and I have been married for nearly 25 years and there has never been any mention of me being his second wife.

But one day, he started saying things like, “My first wife would never do …”, or, “My first wife wouldn’t let me do …”, or, “My first wife didn’t like to …”. WTF?

Needless to say, I was more than a little curious about this first wife. From his comments, I began to get an image of Peter’s first wife as an unpleasant, moody, sexually-repressed, shrew. As he continued to fill in the blanks, he told me she was nearly 100 pounds overweight, wore size 22 old lady clothes and granny panties. She apparently didn’t want to have sex very often and when she did, it was on her terms and almost exclusively vanilla, never kinky or adventurous. Wife number one didn’t treat him with the respect a husband, let alone a Master, deserves. She argued about everything and second guessed him at every turn. Peter told me she spent lots of money without consulting him first. And she didn’t have much energy for the outdoor activities Peter really enjoys like kayaking and hiking.

I began to ask Master more questions about wife number one. 

Did she call you Master or Sir like I do?
Did she kneel and ask for your permission to get into bed like I do?
Would she go out in public without panties or let you feel her up in public like I do?
Did she embrace her sexuality by wearing thongs, garters, and skimpy bras like I do?
Do you think she would have given you control of ALL her orgasms like I have?
Would she ask to give you a blow job, demanding nothing in return for herself?
Would she ever let you tie her up, spank her, and use kinky toys on her?
Did she request and get sexually excited by breath play or knife play like I love to?

After my many incessant questions, Peter looked at me and said, “You know, Pet, you were my first wife for almost 25 years and now you are my second wife."

Ok, in truth, I picked up pretty quickly what Master was up to. We have each only ever been married once and that was to each other. However, the difference between these two wives is that startling. I look different, I feel different, and I act different since becoming my husband’s submissive wife nearly 8 months ago. I now weigh nearly 80 pounds less with just a few more left to go. I feel quite sexy which is completely novel to me. I no longer feel inferior when seeing pictures of sexy women, I now see them as examples or ideas of things I could do. I am having the time of my life in the bedroom (and out in public). I am content, less stressed, and happy at a very deep level. I told Master yesterday that if I were any happier, it would be disgusting. I think Peter would echo these sentiments, but maybe we should try to get him to be a guest blogger and give his full thoughts on how our M/s relationship has affected him. 

I am proud to be my Master’s pet, sub, slut, and second wife.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

No Longer Afraid of That

I really like kinky sex. Vanilla is nice, but I've discovered that I crave some amount of kink in my sex life. Maybe a little bondage, some spanking, some toys, or maybe taking things a little rough, or wearing naughty things. Through it all there is one fairly common sex act that has always given me a case of nerves – anal sex. Over the many years of our relationship, we've gone there exactly twice and those were before we embraced our M/s relationship. I’m not sure why this particular act stresses me out. It’s not like it was a bad experience the other two times, even yielded nice orgasms. But there’s just something about it that makes me tense and afraid.

So when Master started texting me graphic pictures on this topic, I started getting nervous. I knew I would be having an anal encounter this very night. All day long, he sent me assorted pictures of women getting it in the ass. Some of the pictures showed women bound and taken roughly, some were taken with frighteningly large cocks, some were taken gently and lovingly, but all were taking it in the ass and mostly these images were sizzling HOT! As the day wore on, I became more and more aroused at the idea of indulging in some anal kink.

Later that evening, at home, Master texted me the following instructions:

I expect to find you at 9:05 as follows
1. showered
2. naked except for panty, garter, stockings, heels, and collar
3. lying face down on bed
4. arms outstretched with hands bound together at headboard
5. the new variable speed wand under you, between your legs, in just the right spot, vibrating on a low or med setting
6. an unopened condom on your ass
7. you horny, aroused, and ready for anything

Since we don’t need condoms for birth control, item #6 was a pretty clear indication of where this evening was going (if the pictures all day were not enough of a clue). As I am nothing if not an obedient submissive, I followed the instructions to the letter. I was in place as instructed with the wand doing its job well before Master entered the room, and I was already feeling pretty darn good. I was still a bit apprehensive but the more aroused I got the more willing I became to doing anything Master requested.

Master entered the room, undressed without a word, donned the condom, and gently lay on top of me, pressing his cock in the crack of my ass. I just about combusted right then as the added pressure increased the stimulation from the wand. And when he adjusted his position, pushed my panties aside, and pushed against my back door entrance, I was more than willing to let him in. As I recalled from the previous episodes, it’s a little disconcerting to feel something entering, but once in it feels wonderful. As he started to stroke, I knew it wasn't going to take long for me to get there. With Master’s cock in my ass and the wand at my clit, and my hands bound above me, I had an orgasm that I’m not likely to forget for a long time.

Now, I can't wait for the next time Master is in the mood for some anal fun. My silly fear has been cured.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

UnderGarments Make the Sub, Part 2

Master and I have been journeying into our M/s relationship now for almost 7 months.  A lot of things have changed during that time.  We’ve had lots of hot, kinky sex, experimented with pain, explored male/female roles.  We’ve moved to a new house.  We’ve had blissful periods of dominance/submission and frustrating periods where we just couldn’t get the M/s dynamic right.  I’ve lost almost 70 pounds on the “Master’s Diet”, and I’ve learned some surprising things about myself.

In the area of surprises, here’s one I have to share.  Back when we first embarked down this road, Master insisted I change my under garments from granny panties and over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders (also known as full-coverage bras) to sexier bikinis and lacy, demi-cup bras.  The impact was dramatic in how I felt about myself; though at the time, I was a good 100 pounds overweight.

Seven months later, with the Master’s help, I have slimmed down tremendously and I have to say I’m looking pretty good.  Today, I had on black thigh-high stockings with a lacy garter belt, black panties and a black lacy bra under the dress I wore to work.  Wow, did I feel sexy.  The surprising part is that I never viewed myself as hot or sexy.  I avoided wearing garters and stockings for our entire marriage because I didn’t think I looked good enough – even during the times I wasn’t majorly overweight.   I couldn’t help think today about all the wasted opportunities to please my partner (and myself) by being more overtly sexual.   I definitely have some regrets, but I’m living it now and I intend to make up for lost time.  This evening when I got home from work, Master took me straight into the bedroom and fucked me silly.  The whole stocking and garter thing really got to him too.  Why did I wait soooo long?

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Resurfacing

There's no saying it politely. Moving sucks! Especially if you haven't moved in eighteen years. Even if it is to a bigger and nicer house. And let me tell you, moving is not conducive to blogging about your BDSM relationship. As a matter of fact, Master/sub relations are put to the test during something as stressful as moving.

I was surprised at how hard it was to maintain our Master/sub dynamic during the move. We kept trying, but it was pretty much a bust. Master was too stressed to do all the things Masters do, in the period leading up to closing and moving. I was too tired and out of sorts to be receptive to orders and demands. My non-submissive self definitely came out of the hiding place where I had banished it 5 months ago when I opted for submission. I found myself being demanding, argumentative, bitchy, and selfish. I did recognize it and even tried to regain my submission, but it was pretty much a failure as I often reverted to pre-submission behaviors.

I think it's fair to say that a Master/sub relationship works best when Masters can be masterful and subs can be submissive. Well that seems pretty obvious, right? However, it's very difficult when one can't fulfill their role and it's nearly impossible if both aren't up to it.  Masters provide direction and stability with a firm hand, but with patience and caring. Subs feel loved, safe, and adored when this happens which leads them to serve, obey and submit which in turn causes Masters to feel appreciated and in control. It works in an endless loop with both parties getting what they need. If one side gets off track, the whole thing wobbles. If both sides get off, it's a train wreck.  That's exactly what happened to us. I have to say it hasn't been the greatest month.

I am happy to say however, that we are getting back on track. Master is taking the upper hand again and I'm happily sliding back into my submissive role and I'm hopeful that we can regain the lost ground and find even more contentment as we continue our on our Master/sub journey.

So that's where I've been for the last month or so, but things are finally getting back to normal. The new house is great and it's even starting to feel like home now – a little anyway.

Blogging is one of the things Master requires of me, so stay tuned for more frequent updates from me going forward.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Uh Oh! What's he going to do with that?


She whimpered as he dragged the edge of the knife along her nipple. Tethered, spread-eagle in the doorway, she could see everything as she watched Master in the mirror in front of them. He had just finished cutting and ripping her clothes off with a 6-inch hunting knife. Gagged, she couldn't even scream. She wanted to watch, but at the same time she just wanted to close her eyes and pretend she was somewhere else. She felt her fear grow as the knife lay against her throat.  When he moved the knife between her legs she automatically jerked her body to escape, but her bonds held her fast. Even in fear, she moaned as he caressed her clit with the cold steel.

Sounds like the start of a really good erotic novel, doesn't it? Well that was the scene in our bedroom the night before last. Master created a scarily believable knife-play scene for me. I truly felt the fear. He said later he could see fear in my eyes, something he had never seen before. I trust my Master 100%, or at least I thought I did until he was standing in front of me with a knife, slashing my clothing, and drawing the blade across my naked, sensitive parts.  I may be a little deranged, but it was really hot. 

Master instructed me earlier in the evening to put on something “I did not care about” and get ready to play. I guess I was expecting to have my clothing ripped from my body – sounded exciting to me. I couldn't have been more shocked when he brought the knife out after I was bound. He had me positioned right in front of the mirror so not only could I feel everything, but I could see it all happening too. It was all too easy to imagine it was real. I was thinking "what if his hand slips" – he could actually hurt me! I was very relieved when he laid the knife on the counter and moved onto good old-fashioned dildo and vibrator between my legs. I will say the resulting orgasm from fear-induced endorphins was pretty amazing.

Master did show me later how the knife had been intentionally dulled and my clothes were more ripped by his hands than cut with the knife. Phew!

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Listen Up Vanilla Sister

Tonight Master posed an interesting question to me.  He asked me what advice I would give to a vanilla friend if she came to me and said her partner had been reading about Dominant/submissive relationships and wants to try it.   Hmmm.  Master and I have only just celebrated our three month anniversary in our newly minted Master/slave relationship, so I hardly feel an expert on the topic. As I waxed philosophic and reminiscent, one sentiment immediately stood out - I have never been happier, more content, more fulfilled, and more satisfied.  So that sure sounds like I would counsel my vanilla buddy to don some handcuffs, order a paddle, and start working on kneeling positions.  But is it really that simple?

I think my first question of my curious pal would be – why does she think her partner wants this?   Is it for kinky sex and bedroom dominance?  Some erotic spanking? Or does he want to embrace more traditional male/female family roles?   Is he looking for a round the clock change in sexual and nonsexual aspects of their relationship?   I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer to these questions.  The answers just give insight to what’s in his head.  It also doesn't mean that the answers won’t morph over time.  That’s certainly what happened and continues to happen to us.

For a couple that is already in a well established relationship, this can all be pretty dicey.  What if one partner thinks everything is fine and the other is wanting to ramp things up?  What if he wants kink and she thinks good girls don’t do that?  (Though they really do.) Obviously, this can go badly.  I’m not a relationship counselor, but what I’ve found is that communication, patience, some humor, and a good dose of open mindedness go a long way.  If I had to select the one area where our relationship has blossomed the most as we explored M/s, it would be communication (no, not sex, but that’s a close second).  We talk about everything and at a much more intimate level.  It’s been very similar to that initial dating period where you can’t get enough of each other – pretty amazing after being married for two decades.  So if a couple can talk openly and honestly, they can examine their relationship in the light of D/s and decide if it’s for them, and make adjustments along the way.

Which leads to the next thing I would tell my questing sister.  I would tell her to do her research.   Get on the internet and search away.  Learn the lingo.  Find out the flavors (BDSM, M/s, D/s, Taken in Hand, A Domestic Discipline Society, 24x7 same roof – to name a few). Looking at the different approaches can help a couple see what appeals or resonates with them and provides lots of opportunity for intimate and titillating conversation.  Yep, there’s the communication item again. And don't stick to nonfiction. Read short stories and novels across the spectrum. It just may get you hot enough to want to try some things.

At this point if my friend hasn't run away screaming, I would tell her to dip a toe in and give it a try. Sex is a good place to start.  Most couples have dabbled in some light bondage or spanking according to a study I recently read. Early in our journey, after bondage became a regular part of sex, Master asked me to be his sex slave.  We just thought it would be a bedroom kind of thing.  But, as we researched, read, and practiced, we discovered there was a lot more to it and we began expanding beyond sex. We discovered this really works for us. An attempt at some kinkier sex completely changed everything we thought we knew about relationships and happiness.

So, do I think this could work for every couple?  Obviously if the relationship is already on shaky ground trying to go down this road could be perilous.  And, I guess it could be possible to mess up a perfectly good relationship by adding some kinky dynamics. On the other hand, not changing something could eventually mess up a relationship too.

I guess my parting insight to my vanilla friend would be to take the risk (nothing ventured, nothing gained) and have some fun.  There are some surprising things to be found along this journey and it’s a journey I don't regret and wouldn't miss for the world.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

I'm Not Gonna Lie, That Brazilian Wax Did Hurt!


I was offline last week for an out-of-town Vanillacation with relatives. Upon our return home Master surprised me with an  appointment to get my first Brazilian Wax. This definitely falls into the category of limit stretching for me. Truth be told, I secretly wanted to get one but would never have done so on my own.  Master is oh so good at zeroing in on this sort of thing, knowing just when to provide just the right opportunities.

All day long, with the appointment looming, I kept trying to come up with ways to get out of it. I was nervous about how much pain I'd have to endure, my modesty as a stranger who didn't even attend Med School approached my most private parts dripping hot wax, and the unknowns of just what happens during the waxing process. I wondered if the place would be clean and tidy? What would I talk to the technician about? Would we even talk at all? What if somebody I know sees me there? It didn't help that Master kept texting me inappropriate female on female images.

When we pulled up to the salon, I was wondering what people seeing me walking in would be thinking.  “Hey! She's getting all her hair waxed off!.”  Ok, so maybe I worry a bit much about what others think. 
 
My appointment was for a Full Brazilian (front to back with no landing strip).  So how was it?  Well it did hurt. Especially the area closest to my pussy lips.  I have been assured that next time it will hurt less (yes, I will do it again in a few weeks).  The technician had to tell me to be still at one point because I about came off the table.  The position with your legs bent and apart is a little humiliating.  However, I was surprised that I wasn’t more embarrassed having a complete stranger paste hot wax on and then remove it from my privates. And yes, the wax is hot! The most embarrassing part was when she did my backsides.  I had to lay on my stomach and reach behind to spread my ass cheeks for her.  I kept thinking about how much Master would enjoy seeing me in such a compromising position with another female!
 
As soon as it was over the pain was already a distant memory. And I was really glad I went through with it.  I had a new experience that pushed my limits, which always makes me feel strong.  And Master was very proud of me. When we got home Master performed his inspection and was quite happy with the results, commenting that you can't get those results with a razor. I was amazed myself at how smooth everything was.  Master really liked the new sensation of rubbing his cock up against my pussy and my ass without getting poked by stubble.

So if you have been thinking of getting a Brazilian Wax but keep putting it off, go for it! Brazilian Waxing receives the Master/sub seal of approval.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Master's Diet - An Update


Shortly after becoming Master's submissive I wrote that I hoped to leverage my submission to lose weight and keep it off.  At that time I had already lost 10 pounds and was really excited about the prospects of losing even more.  Well, this is an update on my progress and I am thrilled (and so is Master) to report that I've lost 25 pounds in the 7 weeks I've been on the Master's Diet.  Being submissive with my eating habits tickles that spot inside me that sighs with pleasure when I follow Master's rules and subject myself to his control.  It's been by far the easiest and most enjoyable diet I've ever been on.  (Did I really say enjoyable? Yes I did!) This from someone who has tried them all.

I know some of you want to know what kind of crazy diet this is, this Master's Diet (at least my Master's diet anyway). Master says when you add it up all diets follow the same formula. Reduce calories consumed, increase calories burned, lose weight. So his diet focuses on calories consumed and calories burned, not on specific types of food to eat or avoid. I can pick and choose whatever I want to eat as long as I stay under my daily calorie limit.

Each week Master gives me a spreadsheet that contains columns for recording each day  my weight, my food journal with calories consumed, my water intake, my exercise, and whether or not I took my vitamins.  There are certain requirements I must meet daily or weekly.  For instance, Master specifies how much weight I am to lose that week, how many calories I can have each day (mostly in the 1200-1250 per day range so far), how much water I must drink each day, and how many times and minutes I must exercise each week.  He also specifies how many drinks other than water that I can have each week (this is both a dietary and budgetary constraint, two topics of great interest to Master).  

I update the spreadsheet daily and send to Master for review and adjustment as required. There are rewards for meeting my diet goals such as earning Free Anytime Orgasm cards (we call them FAOs) which allow me to choose a time and place to receive an orgasm beyond any orgasms I might receive through Master's generosity. I can also suggest how I'd like to receive my orgasm but that is treated only as a suggestion by Master (don't want Pet to forget her place). There are also punishments including spankings and loss of FAO cards for falling short of my goal, not meeting my water requirements, going over the daily calorie limits, not exercising enough, or inaccurately capturing my calories consumed.

I've received several of these precious FAO cards over the past few weeks and have enjoyed the fruits of my success in some amazing ways.  Though I've not gotten spanked yet as a diet punishment that is about to change tonight.  Master has already said that I will get 16 swats tonight because I missed my weight goal by .4 pounds, went over my total calorie limit for the week by 121 calories, missed my water intake requirement a couple days, and ate some foods for which I could not accurately estimate calories.  This is the first time in 7 weeks I missed my diet goal so I'll have to let you know later how sore my bottom is. But even in this "bad" week I still lost 2.8 pounds!

You can find all my diet related posts here if interested.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Orgasm Denied - Restless in Dallas

I am not good at being denied things I want. Be it dessert, a new outfit, something for the house, or an orgasm, I do lack self-discipline. I've spent a lifetime not believing I am a spoiled brat (being an only child we are always labeled as spoiled). But I am finding as I explore my submission that I am much closer to a brat than a paragon of self-control.

From my reading, I've learned that graciously accepting the denial of an orgasm is an expected and desirable trait in a sub. And even better if your Master first gets you all fired up, or demands that you arouse yourself, and then leaves you high and dry. I've read one story recently (helpfully provided by Master) where a sub had to masturbate once each day for every letter in the name of the day (yes, that means nine times on Wednesday). All without a single orgasm the entire week. That sub handled the task with some struggle, but also with a positive submissive attitude.

A couple nights ago I had my own experience with orgasm denial and my attitude definitely left some room for improvement. It started with Master telling me to get a shower. This is usually a good sign because it means there is a chance he is planning to go down on me (which he does quite expertly). I quickly finished my shower anticipating some good oral sex. I wasn't disappointed as Master dove right in. Things were really cooking along when Master stopped. He let me cool down a bit and then started fingering me. Again, just as my arousal was reaching it's peak, Master stopped followed by another cool down.

Master then mounted me and started really fucking me. He was pumping in and out of me hard and fast, and I was climbing towards orgasm again but not just quite able to get there. This went on for a while. Then, all of a sudden, Master had his orgasm and quickly pulled out, leaving me hanging a third time. It almost seemed like Master varied his technique and strokes to keep me just on the edge but unfulfilled. (Which it turns out he purposely did.)

This did not make me happy at all! The worst part was when he reminded me that I had asked him many times to use my body for his pleasure without consideration of my own. But I didn't imagine Master would first go to a lot of effort to arouse me and then take his pleasure without me. As I rolled over to go to sleep (giving Master the cold shoulder), I think I would have gladly thrown daggers at him if I had any in the night stand. My body eventually cooled off, but my mind was still boiled, processing what had happened and dissecting how I felt about.
“I should be a good sub and graciously accept my Master’s use of me." 
“Why was he so mean to arouse me and then leave me hanging?” 
“Did he set out from the very beginning to do that?” 
“I did ask him to do this, so what’s my problem now that he has?” 
“How could he do this to me?” 
“I'll just give myself an orgasm later after he falls asleep – oh wait, I’m not allowed to do that!” 
“Why can’t I get into a proper submissive frame of mind about this?”
This went on and on and on. I couldn't sleep. I was fighting tears. I cycled through anger, frustration, confusion, and submission, over and over until I finally fell into a fitful sleep several hours later.

As I compare how I felt with that of the other submissive accounts I've read on orgasm denial, I seem to have a terribly long way to go on my journey. Master and I did discuss this the next day. We agreed this is something I need to work on and Master, ever helpful, offered to give me many more opportunities to practice and improve.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Spanking Positions



A couple weeks ago Master had me pick my own spanking implement, a paddle. Yesterday Master texted me a dozen or so pictures of various spanking positions and told me to rate the ones I liked best and explain why, focusing on effective delivery and reinforcement of my submission.

There were traditional positions like bent over a Master's lap, face down on a bed, or bent over a piece of furniture. Some had an arm held behind the back by Master. A few had hands bound while in others the recipient had to keep their arms and hands positioned a particular way. Some actually had special bondage spanking furniture with the sub fully and deliciously immobilized.

But there were also some rather interesting positions like the one with the Master seated, the sub upside down between his legs, with her legs around his torso, and her ass right where it needed to be -  perfect for spanking. And others like this one that required the dexterity of a gymnist or circus performer. But I'm not fond of these positions. I like the ones that are not too hard to hold, you can breathe easily, the blood doesn't all run to your head, and you can fully focus on the spanking without unnecessary distraction.

Master also included some erotic spanking positions that combined spanking with Hitachi wands, vibrators, dildos, and oher toys. And there was one where the sub was positioned with Master's cock in her mouth as she was spanked. Hot! But Master's texts said these erotic spanking positions would not be used for maintanance or disciplinary spankings. Darn.

I must be a little daft to be helping Master spank me better?

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Reflections at Two Months


Master and I have been on our Master/pet journey now for two months (he actually wished me "Happy 2 Month Anniversary" in the shower yesterday morning). In those two months and several months leading up to them we have researched many Internet sites and personal blogs on topics spanning BDSM, “Taken in Hand”, "This Thing We Do", "Domestic Discipline", orgasm denial, forced orgasm, spanking, kink and fetishes.

It was two months ago today Master asked me to be his sex slave (a day he now refers to as "Slave Day"). When I said yes I agreed that I would make my body accessible to him for whatever purpose and whenever he wanted (within hard limits of course). I would no longer masturbate except under his direction, and he would control when and how I orgasm. At the time this was all about sex, hot kinky sex.

Very quickly, and with my insistence, we decided to go beyond the bedroom with dominance and submission. We are experimenting with disciplinary spankings (though Master is a bit of a softy and has been working on getting his head around this concept after so many years of trying not to cause me pain). Master is now managing my diet. We've dabbled in orgasm denial – I’m not very good at this, but discovered some things about myself in the process (more on this in a future blog).

The last two months have been a rebirth in our relationship and are filled with many firsts, lots of physical and emotional intimacy, orgasms uncountable, and more joy than I've experienced in some time. Pretty good for a couple in their third decade of marriage. Heck, we are even taking long walks together again which we haven't done in years! We are still trying to figure out what to call what we are doing, and how to structure this new phase of our relationship. 

Today, I received the following texts from Master while at work (capitalization, punctuation, and spelling corrected for readability):
pet. I feel based on some of your past comments that I have not been the Master you desire. Too soft to bend you into submission and obedience. Too slow to use spankings as an attitude adjuster, even too soft in managing your diet. Masters must study, learn and strive to excel just like pets! I want you to get what you need so this thing we do works and lasts.
Now that we have explored TTWD, I am finding we have a much better relationship, we spend more quality time together, we set a better example for the kids, home life is much less stressful and much more harmonious. And, most importantly, you truly seem happy for the first time in a long, long while. I went into this for kinky sex and have been completely blown away by the nonsexual benefits and changes. Now I want to take this deeper as Master. I don’t want this to slip away from us.

Wow! That is probably the most romantic thing my Peter/Husband/Master has ever said to me! I’m looking forward to going further with TTWD. It excites me, scares me (a little), but I know for sure it won’t be boring, and that we will have a better relationship as a result of it.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Of Shrews and Spankings

Shrew = Spanking

Being submissive is proving much more difficult than I expected.  In the bedroom it has been a piece of cake. Previously, I only occasionally took the lead regarding sex in our marriage and I responded to advances only when I was interested. The key difference since saying yes to submission is that I now make my body available to Master always – I welcome any and all sexual attentions at any time (within hard-limits which are pretty minimal).  I thoroughly enjoy the sexual aspects of submission.  I've had more orgasms in more ways in the past two months than I've had in the previous two years! And these aren't just run of the mill O’s. They have been, by and large, a 15 on a scale of 1 to 10.  Big check mark in the submission positive column here! 

However, Master and I also agreed that the D/s activities would extend outside the bedroom.  We would engage in domestic discipline and we would embrace traditional male/female roles as much as we could, understanding that some things might require personal growth and boundary stretching for both of us.  We both believe that men and women are not better off for having abandoned our primal instincts.  We believe that God programmed men and women to have traits that are very different and we are best served by living into and out of those roles.  Relationships are more harmonious and productive.  The male and female traits are complementary and when fulfilled create a whole that meets what each partner needs in a way that is almost mystical.

With that said, I am struggling with the non-sexual submission.  I am well educated, professional, and way stronger-willed then I ever thought.  I work in an industry where men outnumber women 4 to 1.  I manage teams that are often entirely men and I’m very comfortable calling the shots.  I have been an equal partner in my marriage up to this point and I’m used to exerting my opinion and having it heard and valued.  These traits are innate in my personality and they are deeply ingrained after many years of marriage.  So I guess it is not surprising that I am finding submission difficult in some unexpected ways.  In the last couple of days I've encountered some situations where, quite frankly, I bombed as a sub.

As an example, yesterday I woke up in one of those moods where I am “hell on wheels”.  Shrewish hits the nail on the head.  (Master calls it “Bitchy Witchy".) Unfortunately, it usually takes me a lot longer to realize I’m in this mood than it does everyone around me. 

The situation came to a head that evening and in hind sight was really quite ridiculous. But after a day of putting up with me in shrew mode, Master finally had enough.  We were taking our older child to a sports practice and I told Master to turn at a specific spot because I believed you couldn't get to the field if we went straight.  What I didn't know was that Master had previously done a drop off at this field and knew that you could in fact go that way.  He then said that his way was better (shorter and with less speed bumps).  When I started to comment back, he gave me that Master’s warning look.

Now, you have to understand that when I’m in shrew-mode, I’m also hyper-sensitive. Which means I take everything personally and I’m not always rational.  My first thought was, “Why does he always have to be right?” My next thought was, “As a submissive, how do I deal with this?”  And then, “How am I supposed to bottle up my anger?" Followed by the even worse, “Why should I bottle my anger?”  As I ruminated on these questions, I felt more and more frustrated, confused, and yes, hurt. 

When we got home, Master (as Master usually does) picked up that something was wrong.  Eventually I spilled that I was hurt by his comment in the car.  He told me that when I debate him, it upsets him, especially when he is right. Of course, I didn't know he was right, which made me feel even worse.  Then he told me that he’d put up with my shrewishness all day.  It began first thing that morning when I complained about him waking me up 15 minutes before the alarm went off. Turns out he did this to get some cuddle and squeeze time before the day started.  Looking back on that, I feel terrible.  How many women would love to wake to their husbands cuddling and caressing them lovingly? And I responded by complaining and giving him the cold shoulder – especially bad behavior for a submissive towards her Master. 

Master decided that a spanking was clearly needed to reset my attitude.  We went upstairs with me feeling like I really deserved it.  I stripped naked and lay face down on the bed while Master got the paddle.  After twelve swats, I was feeling at peace.  It’s like a switch was flipped and my emotional state was cleared, reset, and I was again back to normal.  The shrew was once again tamed.   As an aside, I also found myself suddenly and extraordinarily horny.  What I didn't know was that Master’s plan also included taking his pleasure on me without consideration of my own release.  Luckily for me things didn't work out quite that way. But that is a story for another blog post...

Friday, June 7, 2013

My Anklet Revisited


Back in April I blogged about my newest piece of jewelry, an eternity anklet from Master symbolizing my eternal submission.  At that time I wrote that I had many reservations about wearing this anklet out in public, to work, and around family and friends.  Well, that was six weeks ago and I have not taken it off for a single moment.

Today I was reflecting on how I feel about the anklet and I realized I've come a long way.  Six weeks ago I didn't want to wear a dress to work or wear shorts outside as the weather got warmer, for fear someone would notice it, recognize what it was, or ask about it.  Now I do so without a second thought. I even wore a dress to my youngest’s graduation from a Christian middle school.  I am still very much aware of it around my ankle, but I don’t fret about what people will think when they see it.  

I've only had two comments about it and they both came from women I exercise with.  One thought it was some sort of monitor for a Nintendo Wii exercise program.  The comment from my other friend really cracked me up.  She thought it was a court-ordered GPS offender tracking system and wanted to know what I did to get it!  We had a lot of fun joking about me not being able to go more than 10 miles from home.   However, I did not tell either of them that it is a symbol of my submission to my Master/husband.  I simply explained that it is an anklet my husband bought for me and is kind of like a wedding band, symbolizing our eternal love.

Of course Master thought the tracking device comment was hysterical. Especially since he originally said my anklet looked like it came from a prison supply catalog!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Adventures In Subspace

Last night in Subspace Communications I blogged about my desire to both understand and experience subspace. I didn't have to wait long to try again which is a good thing because I hate to wait...  Speaking of waiting... Not that long ago Master went on a brief trip out of the country after sneaking several erotic BDSM novels onto my Kindle. On his departure he provided strict instructions including reading a minimum of 30 minutes a day, while naked and uncovered in bed. But I was not permitted to masturbate or cum under any circumstance.  I obeyed, though barely and with great difficulty. This was made worse because some of the books were really quite good so I read well beyond my required 30 minutes each night. after thinking smutty thoughts 24x7 for 4 days without satisfying myself, I was a frustrated horny mess by the time he got home. So, I definitely hate to wait, even more after that.  But I digress.

So we were paying bills last night right after I uploaded my blog on “Subspace Communications”. We unexpectedly found ourselves without kids so I was sitting naked at Master's feet while writing checks.  When we finished Master said, “Let’s play”.   We have a workout area in our house with weights and an adjustable sit up bench. Master bound me to the bench on my back and then started using a riding crop on my breasts.  It really hurt.  Without warning, the tears started.  Like a good Master (because we've done our research) he asked if I was okay.  I said, “I think so”.  He continued using the crop on my breasts and my clit.  This was definitely the most intense pain that he has administered so far. At one point I was asking myself why is he doing this to me? The tears and sobbing were enough that my nose clogged and Master had to help me blow it (embarrassing, but necessary since I couldn't do it myself bound as I was).

Next, he set up the Hitachi Wand to provide stimulation right where it needed to without having to hold it.  I was bound very tight restricting all but the slightest movement so the wand stayed in place right where he put it.  Then he inserted a large dildo with a handle into my pussy.  I was still feeling emotional from the crop but was also beginning to enjoy the pleasure.  Then Master stood over my head, straddling the bench, and shoved his cock into my mouth.  I thought, “Now we’re getting somewhere”.  I love to give Master head.   While I was slurping and sucking on Master’s cock, he continued sliding the dildo in and out of my cunt, while the wand vibrated away.  This was all pretty intense!  But I was also still feeling pain from the cropping and still must have been sobbing because my nose was still clogged. I couldn't breathe all that well through my nose and Master’s cock was doing a good job of filling my mouth.  I think I may have gotten to experience some breath play along with everything else.

Soon a long orgasm overcame me. But Master didn't stop there.  He left the wand on my hypersensitive clit and continued pumping the dildo in and out throughout and after my orgasm.  If you've ever had the wand put on your clit post-orgasm you know how intense it can be.  I've been known to bend and break restraints trying to get away from the over-stimulation.  However, last night Master had me so securely bound that there was no escaping "the wand".  I don’t know if I had another orgasm or not, but it was so over the top and I was so overloaded with sensations that I started to feel strange and nauseated.  Maybe more trance-like than out of body. Master finally stopped and I immediately started sobbing like I've never sobbed before. And I couldn't stop. Master released me and held me tight while I held him tight. All I wanted was to hold and be held. It was 30 minutes before I quit sobbing and felt stable enough to stand up.  We went straight to bed where Master held me and I held him for another 30 minutes before we went to sleep.  

I don’t know if this was subspace or not. But it was certainly something I have never experienced before.  I realized afterwards that it never even occurred to me safeword out or even say “yellow” at some point, especially while being cropped. Maybe I should have.  I've read where other subs have had this happen - they forget all about safewords and focus on endure with no thought of escape.

This morning Master said I still had a kind of a far away look in my eyes.  But I also had a big smile on my face that lasted all day so maybe it wasn't so bad last night after all.  I’m surprised no one asked me what I have been up to that has me so happy.  Boy would they have been surprised. Incidentally, Master got some great photos of the proceedings from our in-home security cameras. Hot, hot, hot! But he won't let me post them.

Random Thoughts - Has Anybody Seen My Panties?


Yesterday while at work (in a short skirt) I received a text from Master instructing me to remove my panties for the remainder of the day.  So, I go into the bathroom, avoiding eye contact with a coworker as she exits, quickly remove my panties,  and stuff them under my suit jacket until I can get back to my desk and put them in my purse. Master has asked me to do this before so I wasn’t unnerved by the request.  That is until I got back to my desk and couldn’t find my panties! I had a long moment of panic when I realized that I must have dropped them somewhere between the bathroom and my desk.  I hurried back along my route and found them lying in the middle of the hallway.  I snatched them up, a black barely there frilly thong, and quickly looked around to see if anyone had noticed.  My face was already so red, I can’t imagine what color I would have turned if somebody had seen me picking up my panties!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Subspace Communications

I continue to be curious about this altered state called subspace. (I was going to say fascinated, but that’s not really the right word.)  I wonder if it’s similar to the concept of multiple orgasms – people have to take your word for whether or not it happened. It’s easy to fake but it could also be real.  You just don’t know until you experience it yourself.   If you can’t attain subspace is it because it’s not real, or you don’t recognize it, or maybe you personally for whatever reason can’t get achieve it?

After I mentioned in a previous blog that I was curious, Master, ever helpful, provided some links for me to research.  It was very useful at least in terms of providing guidance. For example: 
  1. Some reference it only with a high level of pain while others say it is more about deep submissiveness.
  2. The pain threshold can be achieved with many different tools (hand, flogger, cane, even a wooden spoon).
  3. Many body parts are  suitable for inflicting the pain – but it is considered bad form to exclude buttocks as a hard limit.
  4. Good communication is essential.
  5. Lots of aftercare is absolutely essential.
  6. Negotiate the ground rules thoughtfully well in advance.
I also found good descriptions of what subspace feels like: flying, on drugs when you’re not, out of body experience, and like a continuous orgasm.  That last bit is intriguing to say the least. The guidance on how to achieve subspace mostly centered around severe pain that causes an endorphin flood that yields the desired results.

I don’t have a lot of experience so far with pain for pleasure.  Master and I have only dabbled in this a tiny bit.  I don’t know if I’m enough of a masochist to allow Master to punish me to that extent. Furthermore, I don’t know if Master has the sadist stomach to administer that much pain.  I’m probably more enthusiastic about this than he is.  But I will say I’m still curious and I expect that sometime soon there will be a post from me on how our attempt at achieving subspace turned out.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Left to My Own Devices

During our recent beach vacation, Master orchestrated a play session that left me to my own devices, literally.  He told me to pick two items from the toy bag to give myself an orgasm while he watched.  The only hitch was that he would control when I got to climax.

Feeling a little embarrassed - I don't know why after everything we have done to each other, I selected a large rubber dildo and of course the Hitachi Wand.

I started by applying some lube to the dildo using the same types of strokes I use to rub pre-cum on Master's cock - rubbing around the head and down the shaft, varying the pressure and stroke length.  This was for Master's benefit.

Once the dildo was nice and slippery, I inserted it slowly into my pussy.  Mmmmm, the friction felt so nice as I moved it in and out.  This definitely got me revving.  Next I added some clit stimulation from the wand.  This brought me to the edge of climax very quickly, but Master was no where near ready for the fun to be over.  He said "keep yourself on the edge, but don't cum".   At this point it started to get very difficult.  He also told me to "keep your eyes open and look at me".  Uhh, that's nearly impossible.  My eyes kept trying to close.  What a struggle in and of its self without the added problem of trying not to cum before I was allowed.  At one point, I thought, "what's the big deal, just cum if you need to".  But my desire to please Master won out.  I know I was looking at Master with the most desperate, pleading expression.

Finally,  he said, "Cum for me, Pet".  Oh yeah! 

Sometimes when Master gives me a really powerful orgasm along with a whopping emotional release, I will cry and sob when it's over, but I've never had that happen after masturbating.  So I was surprised when I felt a flood of emotional overload and I began to sob.  Master makes even masturbation more fun. And he said sometime soon he will see me masturbate to multiple orgasms. Hmmm.

Random Thoughts - Subspace

I would like to explore subspace more.  In "Conquer Me", the author refers to two states - headspace and subspace. Headspace is a chemical reaction in the brain brought on by pain and induces an almost drugged state.  Subspace is an intense experience of being totally immersed in and focused on Master and submission.  I'd like to dwelve into both, however the pain one scares me some.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Naked Under the Stars


One of the aspects of our D/s relationship that appeals to Master is stretching my boundaries and having me do things that secretly I'd like to do but feel are not things nice girls would do.

Master knows I have an exhibitionist streak that I've never acted on.  This week we are on vacation at the beach.  The evening before last, Master and I went for a beach walk.  He told me to remove my bra and unbutton the top three buttons on my blouse.  With my bra in my back pocket,  we completed the walk.  The ocean breeze felt so decadent caressing my bare breasts.

The next night, we went for our walk once it was completely dark.  Master had warned me he was going to tell me to remove all my clothes this time.  Oh my, this is not something I would have even discussed just a couple weeks ago and now I found myself strategizing on what I could wear to make it easier.

I opted for a sundress and no panties or bra to start.  Once on the beach, I slipped the dress off and there I was completely naked under the stars.  I felt wild and free, a little nervous, thrilled with the opportunity to submit to my Master, and very much alive.

As we walked, there suddenly were approaching headlights coming down the beach (this was not a deserted beach and had occassional pedestrian and 4wd traffic).  I grabbed my dress from Master and struggled to get it on. But it was inside out and I couldn't find the arm holes! As I tried desperately to get my dress on,  I was cowering behind a laughing Master, trying to stay out of the headlights.  I figured my skin would reflect the lights like the moon - no pun intended.  I felt so many emotions in those seconds - fear, embarrassment, humor, frustration, urgency, humiliation to name a few.  I do have to admit the humor was only after I got my dress back on.

I'm thankful to my Master for pushing my limits and allowing me to experience a deep-seated desire.   Just some of the many benefits of a D/s relationship.

Friday, May 31, 2013

Pain and Pleasure


Last night, I got what I asked for -  pain and pleasure.  Recently I asked Master to bring both sensations together.  I wanted to experience the blurring of the two so I wouldn't be able to tell one from the other.

With the Ben Wa balls  balls in my pussy, and the Hitachi Magic Wand at my clit,  Master worked me over until I was moaning and greedy for satisfaction.  Then he told me to roll onto my stomach.  With the wand on the bed where I could rub my hungry clit against it, and the Ben Wa balls still inside and vibrating from the wand, I continued my surge toward orgasmic release.  As I got really close I pleaded with Master for my orgasm but all I got back was "Not yet, Pet".

Then Master finally said, "Cum Pet when you feel the paddle on your ass." Wait? Paddle? What paddle? A short time later Master started striking my bare ass with the paddle.  Ouch!  With each stroke, I lost my rhythm and had to refocus on the just-out-of-reach ogasm.  After about 6 connections between paddle and cheeks, I started thinking "I need to hurry up and cum - this paddling is really starting to hurt and Master's not going to stop until after my orgasm!"  With renewed single-mindedness, I earned my orgasm within the next 4 strokes and the paddling continued until the orgasm was complete and I collapsed limp on the bed.

In my experience,  orgasms that I really have to work for are truly the best.  I don't know if I got the pleasure/pain sensations tangled up or not, but I did get a ferocious climax and a very pink butt.  Master said that is the hardest he's ever paddled me (punishment for acting a bit witchy/bitchy earlier in the day) so maybe the pain did mingle with the pleasure afterall. My ass sure did continue to sting for quite awhile, though so did the lingering contented smile.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Random Thoughts - Obedience

I'm more excited by obedience than by serving in my submission.  I really enjoy being told to do something.  Looking for was to serve is less enticing; though I'm working on this aspect.  When I do chores that I previously resented, I think of how I'm serving Master and I find I mind them less and can find some fulfillment. I like the ritual around my obedience.  Rituals like kneeling at bedside and asking for permission to come to Master's bed, calling Master "Master", etc. These acts are soothing and provide opportunities to show my obedience.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Please!


I've been looking forward to this vacation for months.  Beach, relaxation, afternoon naps, sleeping in, and late nights indulging in kinky D/s play. When we go on vacation we always bring a bag of toys including restraints, dildos, vibrators, and other implements of debauchery.   I usually don't know what Master has chosen to include in the bag so it's full of surprises.

All day long Master had been promising me he would make me beg - that I would so be saying "Please Master, may I cum".  Finally last night Master cuffs my hands together and ties them to the headboard of the king-sized bed at our beach rental house.  I do enjoy the feeling of helplessness that comes over me in that position, making me wet almost instantly.  Next he attaches my feet to the spreader bar and then attaches the bar to the bed frame.  Helpless and horny.

Master then adds a blindfold to my predicament. Everything is different with a blindfold on and I can only guess what's coming. Helpless, horny, and blind. Master starts with the feather, occassionally mixing it up with the crop and flogger. All familiar (and mostly pleasant) sensations. Then I hear the ben wa balls clanking together.   Is that what we're gonna do?  I feel Master inserting something in my eager pussy, but I can't be sure what it is - all I know is that it feels incredibly good as he slides it in and out, but it isn't the ben wa balls. 

The in and out continues when suddenly I hear the Hitachi wand buzz to life followed by an intense onslaught of clitoral stimulation.  I nearly explode on the spot, but Master backs the wand just off my clit and sys not yet.  Once I quit panting and trembling, he reapplies the wand.  Within a half second I am begging again - "Please, Please, Please!" But Master is not in a merciful mood tonight. He wants to hear me really beg with sincerity and desperation.  He keeps on teasing me while my cries for release became more earnest, at least what can be heard of them as I chew on the pillow case to keep from losing control. And beg I do!  Finally comes that wonderful phrase, "Cum, Pet".  I instantly and completely come apart.  Not once but twice in rapid succession.  I've had multple orgasms before but never two so close together. And then, just as I think I am done, I have yet another orgasm! Three orgasms in rapid succession from the girl who not very long ago believed she was absolutely incapable of multiple orgasms.

Once I come back down to planet Earth,  Master shows me the toy.  It is a wand attachment that has a small dildo (Master says the head of the dildo kinda looks like Homer Simpson's profile  - tee hee) and a very wicked clit stimulator with nubbies and a soft point in just the right place. He turns on the wand and shows just me how fast and wildly these parts vibrate.  No wonder I nearly bit a hole through the pillow case!

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Vanilla is a Flavor Too

There are so many things to try as you delve into BDSM - bondage, toys, erotic punishment, role playing, and any number of variations and combinations of the above.  Master and I have expanded our sex life in some really exciting and satisfying ways.

The night before last, I came home from work and laid down with Master for a few minutes.  He'd been particularly diligent about sending me erotic pictures all day long and I was pretty jacked already when he started some deep kissing and fondling.  Next thing I knew he was mounting me and we had vanilla sex (missionary position to boot) for the first time in ages.  It was awesome.  The connection you can get from sharing simple, straightforward intercourse is one of those mysteries...

I'm not at all interested in foregoing all our kinky practices, but vanilla is a pretty good flavor too.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Random Thoughts - Relationship

I was a little cranky yesterday which I realize is probably not allowed any more in my new submissive state, hormones aside.  I tried to tone it down was not completely success.  Needless to say, Master noticed.  I met him for lunch and while we were eating he asked if I wanted to end our Master/sub arrangement.  He said I didn't seem as happy as I've appeared over the last couple of weeks.   I wanted to cry.  I love our arrangement.  It’s made such a positive change in my life and in our relationship.  I don’t want to back out; I actually want to go even further.  Please, Master, don’t ever think like that again.  I’m not always at my best and I’m still new to taming my shrewish tongue.  I will be a better sub.  I promise.

Clothes Shopping with a Twist

Peter and I have been married for quite a while and during that time have not just a few tiffs on spending money.  In my newly submissive state, I've yielded purchase decisions to Master.  This is a big deal for me to submit in this area.  To control the money is to control the power.   I make good money and would be perfectly justified in making reasonable purchases without discussion and even when I was a stay-at-home mom, I felt as an equal partner in the marriage, I could make purchases at my own discretion.  However, sometimes I over spent what Peter thought was reasonable and the power struggles would begin.

Today, something happened that was novel for Master and for me.  At  lunch, I went clothes shopping.  I hadn’t planned to do that, so Master and I had not discussed it.  After I tried on some things, there was a dress (and shoes of course) and a low-cut blouse (Master has been encouraging me to show more cleavage) that I wanted to get.  So, I snapped a picture of the dress and another of me in the blouse, then sent them to Master for purchase approval. 

He approved the purchase but with a catch.  I had to go back into the dressing room, take a picture of my breasts and send it to him.  Always looking to please Master, I did as asked.   The more I follow Master’s commands, the easier it is to do his bidding.  I barely batted an eyelash at this request.

This evening, Master commented on what a unique experience it was to get a request from me prior to making a purchase.  Used to be I would just show up with stuff and he would get angry.  This time he was pleased to be asked and I enjoyed the opportunity to submit.  No anger.  No fighting.  I’m still amazed at how D/s has improved our relationship.  It’s peaceful and I feel contented. And I got the new clothes!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

UnderGarments Make the Sub


One day right after I accepted my submission to Master, I received a text message from him telling me to go into the bathroom, take off my panties and put them in my purse until I got home at the end of the day.  This was the first command that required my obedience, so with a mix of excitement and nerves, I did as I was told.  For the rest of the afternoon, I walked around with no panties between my dress pants and my bare ass.  It felt very unfamiliar and I kept wondering if anyone could tell.

Later that evening, Master asked for the panties from my purse.  When he saw them, he smiled at my obedience and then told me we needed to go buy some sexier panties.  I guess granny panties are not what the well-heeled sub wears.  So, next stop, Victoria’s Secret where Master helped me select several new sexy bras and as they say in the romance novels – some little scraps of lace that pass as panties.  When we got home, he told me to go through all my current bras and panties and throw them away.  Now my lingerie drawer only holds pretty, sexy, and skimpy items.

For the next couple of mornings, Master wanted to see which bra and panties I picked, then came a morning where he was up and out of the house before I was dressed.  After I got to work, I received a text from Master telling me to go into the bathroom and take and send a picture of my bra and panties so he could see what I was wearing.  I felt a little ridiculous in the bathroom taking pictures of my underwear but Master must be obeyed.  I had to wait until the person in the next stall left so they wouldn't hear the shutter noise from the camera.

One of the bras is a red front-closure, padded bra that creates lots of cleavage.  I wore it today with a black low-cut shell and a cardigan sweater.  Master kept staring at my breasts and he said I looked great.   That does a lot for a girl when she’s been married for a while and her husband can’t take his eyes off her tits.   I’m liking my new undergarments a LOT!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Random Thoughts - Diet, Pain


1.        Something I’ve been pondering is should Master be more strict with me on my diet plan.  I’ve followed my Master’s Diet pretty closely for the last two weeks, but not 100%.  I missed a day of exercise last week – only got in four session, instead of the required five.  A couple days, I was a little short on my water intake.   In the other weight loss related blogs I’ve read, the Masters are very strict.  Even minor slip ups like mine yield punishments.  I’m not begging for a punishment, but I do wonder if by not treating each slip seriously, is Master letting me get away with disobedience that could continue to expand to the detriment of my weight loss.  Hmmmm, guess that’s for Master to decide.

2.       I’d like to respectfulluy ask that Master more closely couple pleasure and pain in our play sessions.  I’d like to experience these two sensations at the same time.  Like being spanked while I’m being fucked, or twisting my nipples as I begin to cum, etc.  Of course, Master is always in charge and can decide to completely ignore this comment.

A Sub Says Thanks


To my Master

I agreed to be your submissive just over a month ago.  I’ve been your wife for much longer than that.  I want to say thank you for taking control of my weight loss.  When I agreed to be your sub, I immediately felt a strong desire to better myself for you; a desire that I’m sorry to say wasn’t there as your wife.  I threw myself into a weight loss program right away.  First week, I lost 4.6 pounds.  Second week, I lost 2 pounds.  But the third week, I only lost .6 pounds.  As I began exploring what it means to be a sub, I discovered several kindred spirits who were losing weight with the help of their Masters.  I asked you to help me.  You were understandably reluctant given the pissy attitude I gave you any time you suggested I might be happier if I lost some weight. 

When my third week of self-managed weight loss didn’t yield much results, you decided to take control which incidently is what you do best.   Thus was born the Master’s Diet.  My results have been very satisfying and I actually enjoy losing weight for you.  In two weeks I am down an additional 10.8 pounds.  The act of submitting myself to you and losing the weight for your approval is a heady combination.  I love your smile when I’ve pleased you.  I’d do anything you ask just to get that feeling.

I’m grateful for your dominance and I lay myself at your feet in adoration.

Your submissive

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Bound to Masturbate


I spent some time last evening reading a spicy romance novel (though with completely vanilla sex) and got myself all wound up.  Thankfully, Master has been pleased with my weight loss efforts and he was feeling generous, so an orgasm was authorized.  As an aside, I was surprised that I could still get aroused at vanilla sex. I’ve mostly been reading D/s stuff lately.

So, on to the run down of my orgasm.  Some of the pictures Master sexted to me last week were of ladies bound with their hands just in reach of their pussies and they were trying to masturbate with dildos.  Master decided this looked like something he might enjoy watching.  He bound my ankles together and put a strap around each thigh.  My wrists were bound and connected to the thigh straps.  Master then raised his eyebrow, handed me my seahorse dildo/vibrator (it’s a dildo and seahorse-shaped clit stimulator with multi/variable speed vibration and as an added bonus, the dildo can do a little gyrate thing), and gave me a nod to proceed.   The seahorse actually works pretty well and it wasn't long before I was panting and moaning.  Master reminded I was not allowed to cum (good thing because I tend to forget in the heat of the moment).  He told me to keep myself right on the edge.  I had to keep removing the dildo from my cunt to keep everything under control.  Finally, Master asked me I was ready and of course I said yes.  I let the little seahorse go to town as I pumped the dildo in and out of my deliciously slick pussy with great results as my self-induced orgasm rocked me from head to toe.

Master said that he enjoyed watching the proceedings.